How many bad decisions does it take to add up to an incredible weekend? I lost count but it was more than enough to have a memorable adventure in Michigan’s largest wilderness area. Patrick and I created a route through the Porcupine Mountain Wilderness a few months ago that would be a 34 mile, unsupported slog over 4,600 feet of the closest thing to mountains you can find in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. All of our planning and training would be put to the test on May 14th. The training went well and the planning seemed thorough but we made at least one bad decision before we left and had a looming question about the conditions answered in a shocking way on our drive.
The Fool On The Hill: The Bad Decision
Some would say the entire plan to run 34 miles unassisted in the wilderness was a bad plan but it’s the plans that you make after a bad plan that make it a fool’s errand or an incredible journey. We planned well. We made good choices. Except this: We decided to listen to the entire Beatles catalog of songs in chronological order as we drove from Lansing to Ontonagon and back. I remember excitedly agreeing. Who doesn’t love the Beatles? Well, not me anymore. The songs you know are the good ones and the songs you don’t are either early 60’s boppers about little girls or unlistenable cacophony from the late 60’s when they were trying too hard to be edgy. On top of that, you can’t control what Beatles songs end up in your head while you’re running (or in the week after you’ve come home). It’s Beatle-mania with an emphasis on the mania.
Lucy in the Sky with Black Flies: The Looming Question Answered
Patrick did his homework. He always does. As an engineer we joke that he lives in ‘Pat’agonia; a well-ordered place where logic dictates decision making. (Oh how disappointing real life must be!) He emailed a park ranger named Katie to ask about the 4 river crossings, the trail conditions, and the bugs in mid-May. Katie couldn’t give us definitive answers, but with a drier than normal Spring it seemed like we’d be best case in all of the unknowns. We were feeling good. Then we got on the Mackinac Bridge. On one of the pillars we saw a swarm. I thought it had to be bees because it looked like an angry hive. We drove on with slightly elevated heart rates. We headed west on US 2 and then we saw them. The infamous black flies of the UP. The sky above the roadway looked like it was filled with smoke from a shed fire but it was darkened by thick swarms of flies that stretched longer than football fields. The swarms went on intermittently for miles and miles. We were already being plagued by the Beatles and now we feared that the swarming black flies would bug us even more. As we continued driving west and north the flies dissipated, giving us (false) hope.
Day Tripper: Waterfalls on the Way
As we made our way from Mid-Michigan to our cabin near Ontonagon we had waterfalls on the itinerary. Our list started with Alger Falls, Scott Falls and Tioga Falls since they are viewable from the road in the central UP. Canyon Falls, nestled humbly in a roadside park was our first stop. We headed past the “trail ends” sign to the canyon where you can jump 40 feet into paradise but the cold water kept us from even entertaining the plunge. On the way to Sturgeon Falls we saw a label on google and then a sign for Ogemaw Falls which I had never been to. It was a beautiful little waterfall and quite the juxtaposition with Sturgeon which has the 4th most powerful flow in the UP as the Sturgeon River narrows from 50 yards to about 5 and the water seems to explode from the gorge.
As we got closer to the Porkies we finished our waterfall pre-gaming with 2 new falls: Peanut Butter and O Kun-de-Kun. Both of these falls ran along the North Country Trail in a clay bottomed river (rare for the UP) so the water looked like melted peanut butter. O Kun-de-Kun falls had a cool bridge over the Baltimore river and one could get behind the falls in warmer weather.
We got to our AirBnB wondering if we’d pushed a little hard knowing what we’d be doing at sunrise, wondering about black flies and mud, and wondering how the Beatles ever got so popular when their early songs were trash.
Across The Universe: 34 miles in the Porcupine Mountain Wilderness
We hit the trail shortly after sunrise. The first 3/4 mile was straight up a rocky hill so we could follow the top side of the escarpment trail. The sun rose behind us as we approached the Lake of the Clouds. We paused liberally for pictures as every bend revealed a new breathtaking panorama. The escarpment ended with a trek down into the old forest that surrounds the Big Carp River and the Little Carp River. The trail wasn’t all downhill but the trail conditions were. We faced mud, swamps, fallen trees, hard to find trails (Pro tip: they were always in whatever looked like the worst possible path), and black flies. We had four river crossings and had to filter our own water. One of my water bottles sprung a leak at mile 22 which didn’t help! Whenever we stopped to take off shoes for a river crossing or to take in water through our filter a black fly would come and hang out, blow a bugle and invite 100 of his closest friends. Fortunately, they weren’t en masse like we saw on route 2 but they definitely kept our breaks from being true breaks. And they really liked Patrick which was a reversal of sorts from our Jordan River Pathway run last year when the Deer Flies sent me to therapy.
Through it all we climbed the climbs, ran the runs, summited Summit and Government peaks and overcame bonks. I felt like I was done around mile 20 but hydrated and got more calories and perked up so I felt great for the last 10 miles of the run. Patrick’s bonk came a little later and he made friends with a tree (pictured above) but recovered so that we both felt strong at the finish and (foolishly) hopeful for more and bigger runs in the future.
It was so tough but so rewarding. Over 10 hours, 34 miles, and 4,600 feet of elevation of true unsupported wilderness trail running.
Porkies Loop Waterfalls:
- 14 Falls on the Big Carp River
- 12 Falls on the Little Carp River
- 8 Trap Falls
- Shining Cloud
- Trader
- Greenstone
- Trap
- Overlooked
- Explorers
All of these falls were new to me and they we exceptional!
We wobbled to Ontonagon and had frozen pizza at Stubbs, the most UP of all bars, and went to bed with over-ambitious plans for the next day.
Magical Mystery Tour: So many waterfalls and more running because one bad idea is never enough
Yep. We ran 34 miles on a Friday and followed it up with 9 more miles of trail running. We saw 34 waterfalls on Friday and 36 on our Saturday “rest day.” It was…ambitious. We trespassed 3 times before noon. We felt good until we didn’t. So many steps, some deer trails, and some really impressive waterfalls. We checked out Cold Iron Brewing in Ironwood and struggled to find food in the whole western UP but ended up with some tasty pasties (that doesn’t rhyme!).
Waterfalls:
- Superior (stone skipping beach)
- Saxon
- Black River (Many falls along non-trail between Rainbow and Sandstone)
- Manikiki (the unnamed one is now officially called Wendell Falls)
- Powderhorn (with hunger games style traps)
- Gabbro (Scary)
- Sunday Lake* (Up from the earth!)
- Root Beer*
- Presque Isle River Kettles and Falls
- Nonesuch Falls* and mine ruins
- Inspiration Falls* and the falls around the Artist in Residence cabin in Little Union Gorge
And In The End The Love You Get Is Equal To The Love You Give: Even more waterfalls on the way home
The Beatles were wrong. I mean, they were the wrong choice for a playlist. But also, they were wrong about the love equation, at least when it comes to the UP. The love the UP gives, the inspiration, excitement and peace all at the same time, can’t be equalled. This is true of God and God’s country in the UP: I can never give it as much as I get from it. We squeezed everything we could out of four days in the last good place on earth and somehow I feel totally content and wanting more at the same time. The trip back had new waterfalls (Bonanza!) and some heavy hitters (Bond and Agate). Our quads were challenged but our spirits stayed positive. I’m so grateful for for this adventure on so many levels: health, friendship, creation and inspiration. May it make me more ready for whatever long and winding road I end up on next.
Waterfalls:
- Bonanza*
- Bond
- Agate
- Jumbo*
- Duppy*
New Falls = *
MI Trail Challenge 